Taphophilia
Noun: a love of funerals, cemeteries, and the rituals of death.
Commonly known as a “tombstone tourist”
The definition of taphophilia seems quite simple. The walking graveyards/cemeteries and obsessing with the rituals of death for few or to normal people may seem morbid and not so simple. Yet the human obsession of death/morality is an unknown passage we all make and the unequivocal fate in our lives. When, where, or how fate takes us is something we cannot control. Death is inevitable so why immerse oneself with the fate of those before us? Why care?
Forest Hills Cemetery, Boston, MA
The first time I walked through a graveyard as a daily occurrence and not for a special tour or for any reason was in London, England during university. A pathway into town leads you through a small graveyard for a moment. That moment was enough for taphophilia to take. Graveyards are serene, peaceful, and a remembrance of loved ones but in this one I knew no one. Completely unknown to me; their lives, families and existence never would have crossed my path but because of this pathway, I saw their graves countless times. Each time passing, I noticed someone different bringing a short memory alive of a life passed however brief. Cemeteries also were more elaborate, gothic, and extravagant as well in times past. Taking one look at Highgate Cemetery, it is hard not to admire the ornate detail that went into graves, statues, and crypts. Life in cities hundreds of years old dealt with death very differently throughout the ages. The exposure in daily life to cemeteries and graveyards is far vaster too or let us just say there are many more graveyards within towns. Growing up in the Midwest we had the ability to have large towns with cemeteries and graveyards removed and distanced from our daily lives. The American culture also treats death as a taboo moral issue that led me to have a very sheltered life from graveyards or cemetery visits. The only reason you go to a graveyard or cemetery is to see a loved one who is passed on, not just to explore or tour one? My small exposure from my past of graveyards, to then seeing them daily fed into my curiosity and started an interest in becoming a tombstone tourist unknowingly.
“Seeing how each city lived but also died created a complete comprehensive way to their circle of life. ”
This interest, however, took a backseat to life, and it was not until later in my late twenties it came back to haunt me. On a trip to New Orleans with a good friend of mine, a few of the sightseeing attractions were cemeteries, ghost tours and voodoo shops. New Orleans is notorious for burying their loved ones above ground due to the natural landscape of their city. Death has also become embraced in the culture of the city in unique ways not found in other places in the world. This reopened my fascination at once with cemeteries and the rituals of death. What took a turn for me was the celebration of life within a death. In New Orleans they simply do not just mourn as others do but have a second line or jazz funeral. Starting out mourning in grief the parade progresses to a joyful remembrance. Parading through the streets to the honorees grave as family members bear the burden of death not alone but with each other and their community. It brought me to a stark realization of how diverse the celebration of death, rituals and even attitude or culture toward death can be even in America.
From that moment on my travels included graveyards or cemeteries on the itinerary. Seeing how each city lived but also died created a complete comprehensive way to their circle of life. Doing as historians have done for years and years before me. I wanted to learn about the past by learning about death. I was taken with taphophilia and now years into my interest learned, I was not alone but one of many who too had the same fascination. Not all visitors are mourning the loss but for other reasons they too were also passing through for reasons of their own. Using social media, it is now easy to tour Père Lachaise or Bonaventure, but never the same. In presence these places hold you in ways pictures could never grasp beyond 1000 words. A humbling peace that some never have the taste for and yet others can lead you on a journey of fascination. So, whether you are here for passing interest, here to stay for a while or never coming back to The Grim. I hope in any of your daily travels or your special ones you might appreciate your local graveyard or cemetery a little more. Acknowledging that morbid to some is a place of peace, curiosity, history, nature, or at the very least remembrance of a loved one.
